06-17-2005 | #1 |
Brew Master
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Desert
Posts: 7,070
|
Things that Hallmark cards don't say....
THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you I've changed my mind. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - We have been friends for a very long time let's say we stop? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay. "Give a man a beer, he'll waste an afternoon. But teach a man to brew, and he'll waste a lifetime!" |
06-17-2005 | #2 |
PIMP
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: walnut,calif
Posts: 165
|
good stuff!!! the cat one i could of used a couple years ago
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
|
|