Working out...

[SS]Chief · 05-02-2005

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
which means they take the water out of the fruit a bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be
bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

[SS]Rator · 05-02-2005

omg i love it! HAHAHAHAHAAAAaaaa...

"Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach."

05-02-2005	#1
[SS]Chief Brew Master Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The Desert Posts: 7,070	Working out... Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, which means they take the water out of the fruit a bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! "Give a man a beer, he'll waste an afternoon. But teach a man to brew, and he'll waste a lifetime!"

05-02-2005	#2
[SS]Rator Sea Snipers® Owner/Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: US Posts: 24,237	omg i love it! HAHAHAHAHAAAAaaaa... "Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach." I'm gonna ask you questions, and every time you don't give me answers, I'm gonna cut something off. And I promise you... they will be things you will miss!

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