Smart-Ass Answers..

[[SS]Chief]

Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat
and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."



Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough
for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these
turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
ma'am, they're dead."



Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped
for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been
waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid
on his way without a ticket.



Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before
he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he
gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
out of his car and walks up to the truck driver, puts
his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The
truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge
and ran out of gas."

#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004:

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but
that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"



A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his
hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said
I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter
and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the
teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her
head and sweetly says. "Well, I guess you'd have to
write the exam with your other hand."

[Vilence Fetish]

i saw those on ebaums world just the otha day and i read em..those r poretty dam funny....ebaumsworld has a ton of funny jokes n stuff

[Lost_Angel]

that guy in the last one was mea1surprise boy was i embarassed