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10-06-2005 | #1 |
Brew Master
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Desert
Posts: 7,070
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Police One Liners...
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile." #14 "Take your hands off the car or I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." #12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun." #11 "So you don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" #10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#*!." #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." #4 "Just how big were those two beers?" #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." #2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." and, ah yes, the best one #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't....Sign here." "Give a man a beer, he'll waste an afternoon. But teach a man to brew, and he'll waste a lifetime!" |
10-06-2005 | #2 |
Commander
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 187
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haha i like the last one, and the one about the 1200 fps 9mm. laffyguy
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10-06-2005 | #3 |
Ensign
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 21
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you need to post that over on out boards for Yikes.... that is some funny stuff...... the last one had me rollin'
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