Ever Wonder

[SS]Hellboy-R · 05-21-2005

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes and candy bars at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. While contemplating surgery for being to fat.

Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Plus hire a rent a cop with a gun that would make Barney Fife look like Dirty Harry.

Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Don't forget screws in three's and nails by the dozen.

Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

[SS]Chief · 05-21-2005

Funny stuff....and so true....

[SS]Hoot · 05-21-2005

I like the very first one. Its our marketing ploy. Its a very big portion of our business so why not have them look at everything else on their way to get their medicine? American capitalism at its finest

05-21-2005	#1
[SS]Hellboy-R Ass Kicking Mutha Fucker Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Phila Posts: 402	Ever Wonder Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes and candy bars at the front. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. While contemplating surgery for being to fat. Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Plus hire a rent a cop with a gun that would make Barney Fife look like Dirty Harry. Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Don't forget screws in three's and nails by the dozen. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER .... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do "practice"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? I'm everywhere in the shadows of the night. I'm the one haunting you, your dreams, creating the nightmares you see. I''m the one pushing your mind closer to the edge. I know the balance of your soul. I might be visiting you next. I'm the shadow that lurks behind you Im just a figure of your imagination. I am but a shadow I have no name..

05-21-2005	#2
[SS]Chief Brew Master Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The Desert Posts: 7,070	Funny stuff....and so true.... "Give a man a beer, he'll waste an afternoon. But teach a man to brew, and he'll waste a lifetime!"

05-21-2005	#3
[SS]Hoot Ex-SS Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: In a place far, far away from here... Posts: 997	I like the very first one. Its our marketing ploy. Its a very big portion of our business so why not have them look at everything else on their way to get their medicine? American capitalism at its finest The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.

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