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Guts and Balls
The difference between "guts" and "balls":
Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."
               My idea of a fair fight is clubbing a baby seal over the head.
~Staff Sergeant Jack Coughlin U.S.M.C. Sniper
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